Breastroking with Obama

Recently, I have been living my life according to a new religious movement: YOLO.  According to this new movement, you should do whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want because

"!!!You Only LivE On$e!!"

So last Wednesday I wanted to demonstrate my devotion to YOLO by swimming with penguins in Belize, a childhood dream. I wasn't sure if there were even penguins in Belize, but I packed my best snorkel gear and headed out the door of my Baltimore apartment. It wasn't until I got in the car, that I remembered that I had $3.47 to my name, and this would not even buy the coffee I so desperately craved at Royal Farms. The penguins would have to wait. 

This terrible economy makes practicing my new religion very difficult at times. I guess it is the struggle that makes my faith stronger. 

Until the economy gets better, I have been photoshopping myself into various travel destinations in the spirit of the YOLO. So far I have gone to The Great Wall of China, North Korea, and even visited the Pygmy tribe of Africa with Oprah by my side. My boyfriend Enrique (name changed to protect the innocent and reflect potential spanish ancestry) has played guitar on stage with Dave Matthews last November! (as shown here)

When Enrique is 87 years old and suffering from dementia  he will look at this picture and think, "Dave's guitar was a little out of tune that night, but that was a great jam sesh!" 

Sometimes I wonder: When you have the ability to create memories with photoshop, what is the point of creating real memories? In the end, when I am sitting in my diaper in the Nursing Home am I REALLY going to remember that I didn't actually breaststroke with Obama in the Nile River? 

Thus I have been creating a legacy for myself. A life that I never actually lived. Even if my wallet prevents me from being a YOLO, I can convince my elderly self that I was the best YOLOer their was.