For Charles

Hi I'm Charles. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Look at this man. His fu manchu is purple, his glasses are pink, he is wearing a green leisure suit, but somehow it works. Meet Charles V. Pub, second most interesting man in the world. Charles does what he wants. Actually, he does what I want because I designed him in photoshop. 

Back in February a local bar Charles Village Pub (CVP)  hosted a contest to design the Charles character. I frequented CVP in college particularly on thursday nights where ladies drink for five dollars. Ladies get to wear a cool paper wristband, get pushed around by strangers in a crowded bar, and then spend a few hours begging for their drink. It's fun!

Your night is at the mercy of the bartenders, all people that have tried out for the jersey shore and didn't quite make the cut. They still sport tans and go to the gym, but instead of making millions on reality television, they are pouring you watered down versions of your favorite drink.

I really wanted to design a jersey shore character, but I thought this might be insulting. Also, there are two CVP's. One is in baltimore city and I imagined the jersey shore characters were less frequent at this location. I imagined they all wore shades with suits and seduced women by quoting literature, instead of grunting and pouring their drink on them. 

I worked really hard into the wee hours of the night just to get it finished by the deadline. I think the sun was rising and the mice were singing "cinderelly" to me when I finished it. I also may have gotten sick the next day. Regardless, I felt accomplished and hoped no one would say no to my beloved purple haired Charles. 

A week and I didn't hear anything. 

Two weeks. 

Then, they announced it.. 

They cancelled the contest. 

Poor Charles. He never got a chance.

Purple haired Charles has sat in my computer for months reciting pickup lines that he will never use. His beer is skunked and warm. Lines form at his eyes under his rose glasses, a think layer of dust grows on his leisure suit, but somehow he manages to keep his composure.

He is no longer the second most interesting man in the world. He didn't want me to tell you this, but he has dropped down to fifty second most interesting man. I keep telling him his time will come, maybe one day someone will notice him. 

The other day he noticed that I was blogging and told me to showcase him on my blog. So here he is out of the depths of my computer. 

The Charles V. Pub that never was.